Writing my own story

Mariana the journalist would ask Mariana the Sporting manager if she ever imagined she would be a football coach.

The honest answer is that I never imagined it. How can you imagine something that doesn’t exist? Growing up, there were no role models. I didn’t know any female coaches. I didn’t even know that women’s football competitions existed.

In women’s football, it is very difficult to talk only about football. Because there is so much to do, so many battles we have to fight. There are dozens of things we want to achieve before winning championships.

I’m talking about rights and working conditions. To tell my story, these battles cannot be forgotten. Women’s football and feminism go hand in hand.

I am from São Miguel, a small island in the Azores. Growing up, I had almost no access to anything that happened outside the island. My world was very small. I had no reference to women in football.

The turning point was the 1999 World Cup. I was struck by the image of Brandi Chastain taking off her shirt to celebrate the United States’ victory. I found that image incredible.

"There were no serious careers for female coaches or players"

There were almost 100,000 people in the stadium, and we saw a woman with her shirt off, celebrating the victory on her knees. That transcended sport; it was a liberating attitude for all of us. Society didn’t expect that behaviour from a woman.

By taking her shirt off, Chastain broke down a lot of barriers that had been imposed on us since we were born. I was completely surprised and delighted – girls also played football, and a world of possibilities opened up in my mind.

I left the Azores to study journalism in Lisbon. At that time, I played football for fun. That’s all I wanted – to have fun. When you play football with your friends, you’re just playing. You don’t think too much; it’s intuitive. That’s how I played until I met Helena Costa.

She was my coach, and she awakened in me the desire to be a coach one day. With her, I discovered that there is a logic to playing and training. If I’m pinning an opponent, she can’t jump and press on my partner. If I’m in a 2v1 situation, the defensive cover breaks down.

It was all very fascinating, and I started reading books about football. That’s when my desire to become a coach was born, but at that time in Portugal there were no professional women’s clubs. There were no serious careers for female coaches or players.

"We want more people to join women's football. parking the bus is not the best strategy to do that"

In my case, I made a career as a player. I was even national champion with the 1º Dezembro team in Sintra. But I earned €100 per game, a sandwich after the matches and, sometimes, a beer. You can’t call that a profession. I decided to stop playing when I was 25.

My profession at that time was journalism. At the same time I was doing an internship as a coach, while doing the required badges to be hired. As a journalist for the newspaper Expresso, I was able to interview big names in football.

That included professionals like Sarina Wiegman, Pia Sundhage, José Mourinho, Vítor Pereira, Carlos Carvalhal and Luís Castro, among others. With each interview I learned something new. In many ways, these conversations helped me to become a better coach.

I have never forgotten the words of Sarina Wiegman, who – quoting Johan Cruyff – said that she would rather win 5-4 than 1-0. I share that philosophy. Do you know why? Women’s football is at a different stage than men’s football.

We still have a long way to go, and we want to attract more people to join us. Maybe parking the bus in front of the goal is not the best strategy to do that. Some people like it, but that’s not my perspective.

For me, attacking, brave and even chaotic football is the best way to grow more and more. This reasoning may seem strange for a man. I don’t know if any coach thinks about improving the football product as a whole. I think it’s an extra burden for women, but I don’t mind carrying it.

"Despite the progress, we continue to play on pitches that are not in the best condition, full of bumps and dangerous for players"

I don’t just want my team to win and my players to grow. I also want to see the evolution of women’s football.

Many players still call me ‘mister’, as they call the coach in Portugal and Spain. It’s the force of habit. The lack of an equivalent word, or the fact that any other term sounds strange when addressing a female coach, is indicative of the ‘silliness’ of seeing a woman in charge.

When I arrived at Sporting in 2016, to manage the Under-19 team and co-ordinate the women’s training programmes, I was still working in journalism. I was also coaching Estoril Praia’s Under-17 team and one of Benfica’s men’s training teams.

It was the beginning of the project – Sporting were developing their Under-17 and Under-19 teams. So we started from scratch. The road we have travelled in these eight years was unimaginable back then. But there is no time for celebrations. We have to look ahead and keep growing.

Despite the progress, we continue to play on pitches that are not in the best condition, full of bumps and dangerous for the players. In one match, one of the rival teams did not have a changing room with the facilities and conditions to receive a team.

The space was minimal and we had to split into two groups to get in, in addition to having to deal with the cockroaches that were there. We are talking about a semi-professional league, but with world-class players. It is unacceptable that this is still happening.

"I am passionate about offensive play. I like to find solutions to attack, but the most important thing is collective play"

Of the beautiful memories, I cherish the one I experienced in my first match as Sporting’s first-team coach. It was the final of the Super Cup at the Restelo Stadium, in Lisbon. It’s a magnificent stadium, with a breathtaking view of the Tejo river. The feeling of going out on to the pitch is unforgettable.

I felt something similar again, the first time I coached at Sporting’s Alvalade Stadium. It’s very impressive, and a real pleasure to play on pitches like that.

Despite my journalistic background, I confess that I don’t follow the media analysis of our team very much. I stopped doing it, because I didn’t agree with some of it.

In my first year as a coach, I still read some. But then it started to unsettle me, because the analysis and comments were biased and made little sense. In Portugal, very few people follow women’s football regularly. They only attend the big games, so the analysis tends to be superficial.

I am a coach who is passionate about offensive play. I like to find solutions to attack, but the most important thing is collective play. If we work together as a team, we will overcome individual mistakes and the less favourable periods of the game.

Here at Sporting, we have a motto: “More important than winning, is winning as a team.” Understanding this is essential to what we want to do.

"The only certainty is that women’s football is where I belong. It’s something that moves me"

What I am most proud of in my career is the constant effort to evolve as a person and as a professional. That is what I demand from my players. Victories on the field and titles do not define your worth.

Celebrating a title is all very well, but I am more interested in seeing players grow. The feeling of having helped an athlete develop is more lasting and, in some ways, more real than celebrating an achievement. To be able to follow the rise of 12-year-old girls until they reach the first team is as much, if not more, pleasurable than lifting any trophy.

I find it very difficult to project my professional future. I think it has to do with my own story. In my career, everything has happened unexpectedly, without any big plans. Besides, football consumes a lot of energy. The life of a coach is not easy. You can’t switch off completely. Yes, there are days off, but someone has to prepare the next training sessions and analyse the next opponents.

The only certainty is that women’s football is where I belong. It’s something that moves me. As long as I stay in football, I want to devote my energy to developing the game. For me, it’s a pleasure to fight for better conditions, for freedom and women’s rights.

Today, girls know that they can be professional footballers and coaches. One day, I hope to be a role model for them.

I would say that there are several Marianas who make up who I am. The player, the journalist, the coach, and many more Mariana Cabrals! They are separate, in many ways, but always coalesce around something central: the passion for football.