Comfortable in the uncomfortable

I want my Stevenage team to play football that excites people. Football with real purpose. Attacking football is what I want to see.

The purpose is to score goals – that means playing forward, whether through, round or over. And I want us to press high, with intensity. That is the DNA of this club and the team I want to see on the pitch: running forward, playing forward, crosses, runners, shots. 

That is what this club demands, so that is in everything we do, including how we train – with an intensity to score goals. It is slightly more difficult at League One level than it was in League Two, but that doesn't change what I want from my team.

We also want control in games. If you keep giving the ball away, you won't see it for a while. And when we win it back, we want to play with purpose. We had that when we were in League Two, then we took it into League One. Perhaps our style hasn’t had the recognition it deserves, though. Last year a lot of people said we were a really direct team. But we played good football, and we have good footballers.

To play attacking football with intensity is hard work, but my whole career – whether playing, coaching or managing – has been based on hard work. When I was 20, not only did I leave my first club, Cambridge United, but I also left professional football. I fell out of love with the game for a while, went away and studied psychology, qualified as a personal trainer and worked in a gym. 

It gave me the perspective that, no matter what happened to me in football, there would always be opportunities elsewhere – that I am able to do something else. Looking back, it was one of the best things I have ever done. I started playing non-league football, got my love for the game back, and went on to play nearly 700 games as a professional footballer for 14 different clubs, including Stevenage. 

“I went into the academy to work as lead coach of the Under-18s. But I was only there for around six weeks”

My whole career has been built on being resilient. As a striker, I had to get through some tough periods, because I wasn’t renowned for getting double figures every year. In a way, my whole journey as a player was about understanding my game. That meant knowing what I was good at, and doing it to the best of my ability. 

Now, as a manager, I try to understand what people's strengths are and do what I can to get the best out of them. I never expect people to be the same as me, because everyone is different. Instead, I try to pass on the benefits of my experience, without saying: “This is what I did.”

Stevenage was the last club that I played for, arriving in January 2018 when we were in League Two. I retired in 2019 and got great support from the owner and everyone here, as I went into the academy to work as lead coach of the Under-18s. But I was only there for around six weeks.

There had been a change of first-team manager, with Mark Sampson taking over as caretaker, and I moved up to the first-team staff. I learned a great deal from Mark, who’d been manager of England’s women’s team for four years and is an excellent coach.

After three months with Mark, Graham Westley came in for his fourth spell as Stevenage manager. We didn’t win enough games, though, and he got sacked in February 2020. I took over as caretaker for two games, then Covid happened and the season was suspended. 

In June, clubs voted to end the season early. At that point, there was a possibility we could lose our EFL status. It was a really difficult time for everyone, while we waited for the verdict on a points deduction for Macclesfield that could keep us up. In the meantime, in July I was appointed as manager on a permanent basis.

“I look back and realise how proud we should be of that season”

There was so much to deal with, given the impact of the pandemic and the uncertainty of whether we would be in the EFL. We were having to deal with situations beyond our control. That taught me so much about what you can and can't plan.

That summer, we had to totally rebuild. We moved on 22 players and recruited while still unsure whether we would be playing in League Two or the National League. When we started pre-season, we had National League players mixed with some League Two players. Then, two weeks before the start of the season, we found out we were going to be playing in League Two.

We started the season pretty well, but went through a dip that reflected the fact that we didn’t have the players to perform consistently at that level. So we had to get to January and recruit League Two players who knew what they were doing. We needed players who could come in and make a difference. 

We recruited through the spine of the team and, when the new players came in, things changed. The new signings provided the consistency we’d been missing. From there, we went on a fantastic run. From bottom of the table on Boxing Day, we got to within sight of the playoffs by April. 

Now I look back and realise how proud we should be of that season, because of where we had been in the summer. We had players who had come from the National League South, who were playing away at places like Bradford. Although they were playing at their absolute best, they weren't League Two players. 

Any manager coming in would have found it extremely difficult. Okay, we didn't get promoted or make the playoffs. But just to stay up that year, and solidify Stevenage as a League Two club, was a huge achievement.

“It was a big lesson for me that, as a manager, you should never be too high or too low”

We signed some really good players before the 2021/22 season, and started strongly. Then, when we went to Sutton for our seventh game, I remember it felt different. It was a game we were expected to win, and three points would put us among the leaders. That was the first time where the pressure had really been on. And it was a pressure I put on myself.

We lost the game, and I found it hard to deal with. Maybe that had an effect on us as a team, because we went on a run after that where we lost a few. Being brutally honest, I didn't deal with that as well as I should have, because I had never been in that situation.

It was a big lesson for me that, as a manager, you should never be too high or too low. Losses are going to happen, wins are going to happen, and you have to try to treat them the same. No one wants to lose, but there is a way to do it. You have to lead and set the tone, and I had been led too much. It got to a point where I didn't recognise the team for how I wanted us to be. When you’re in that position, it is very difficult to change things. 

Around that time, my young son said to me: “You haven’t read to me for two and a half years.” I realised that my whole focus had been on football and I hadn’t allowed myself to unwind. So I spoke to the chairman, Phil Wallace, and said it was probably best that he picked someone else to try to change things. It was amicable, but it had got to a point where I didn’t know myself. So the first thing I did was go away with my family to get some time back with them.

Then I refocused and asked myself if I wanted to go back into it again. I had just got on to my Pro Licence course, where I had great support from the FA’s coach developers, Guy Whittingham and Alistair Smith. Similar to when I was released by Cambridge, I found that love again. I was learning about myself, putting myself in situations where I was comfortable in the uncomfortable.

While I was on the course, I spoke to the Stevenage chairman, who told me that he didn't want to lose good people. I was asked to come back in and be a part of the academy. So I spoke to the academy manager, and we agreed that I would come in part-time.

“I could have said no, because of the situation that happened before. But I had belief in myself”

In March 2022, Steve Evans came in as Stevenage first-team manager with the club fighting relegation. I had played for Steve at Rotherham and we stayed in contact. On his first morning at Stevenage, I got a phone call from him: “Where are you?” he said. I don't think he realised at the time that I was working within the academy, which is on a separate site. He asked me to come in, so I met him at the training ground. He had some kit with my initials, sat me down and said: “I want you to come back.”

It would have been a tough decision – if he had even let me answer! Instead, he pulled me into his first meeting with all the lads and said: “Revs is here with me.” It was another of those moments that I consider to be among the best things I have done. I could have said no, because of the situation that happened before. But I had belief in myself, and that resilience – which has served me so well in my career – came to the fore.

It was fantastic working with Steve, and I developed a lot in that time. To begin with, I was something of a Jack of all trades. For example, we had no sports science – no S&C at the club. I have a degree in sports science – which I studied for through the PFA – so I developed the S&C side, as well as coaching on the grass. 

Steve involved me in all sorts of things, from team meetings to sorting out substitutions, and I shared a lot with his assistant manager, Paul Raynor. We stayed up that season, and in the summer of 2022 I was involved in recruitment with Steve, which he is incredible at, and meeting players.

My responsibilities grew. We spent many hours together, discussing situations, tactics and team shapes. I would tell him my thoughts, but I would never disagree with him in public. Steve taught me about the importance of having a staff you can trust. We had discussions where we had different opinions, but once we left that meeting room nothing else mattered apart from what the manager wanted.

Working on Steve’s staff taught me so much. A lot of it I probably already knew, but before then I didn’t have the confidence to deliver it. He has had more than 30 years in football, and you don’t stay in football for that long without being good at what you do. It would have been very silly for me not to learn.

“As soon as anyone drops their standards, they get told”

This included the importance of standards. Once you set a standard that you expect from people, you have to be consistent in demanding it is met. It can’t just be a flash in the pan that is delivered for a certain amount of time, then goes away.

Good relationships are key, but there are also times when people need to know if they are not performing. There have to be standards and demands every day – not just for players, but for staff and everyone. That can mean things like making sure the bus is right, making sure the food is right. Everything about Steve’s period and since has been about standards. As soon as anyone drops their standards, they get told. It keeps everybody on their toes.

Steve also brought real competition to the squad. It was the same when I played for him at Rotherham, when we won promotion to the Championship. If you didn't perform, someone was waiting to take your place. With that, we got promotion from League Two in 2023, and were pushing for the League One playoffs the following season.

There was only ever going to be two or three clubs that Steve would leave for, and one of them was Rotherham. When they came knocking on the door, in April 2024, they wanted him to leave straight away. 

Rotherham paid up, so Steve left the day before we were due to play Oxford on a Friday night. I spoke at length with him, and he explained that he and Rayns were going, and that he wanted me to join them. We also spoke about finishing the job at Stevenage. There were two games left, and we still had a chance of getting into the playoffs.

They were tough games as well, so we decided that I would stay and take charge on an interim basis. In those games, I also had the opportunity to see if management was where I wanted to be again. I had really enjoyed being on Steve’s coaching staff, but now I had two games to stand in the dugout, lead the team and see how it felt.

“I had felt comfortable in my own skin, back as manager”

I had a plan, and we did it my way for those two weeks. We drew at Oxford, who were doing really well and ended up being promoted. Then, in the last game we beat Cheltenham, who had to win to stay up. As it turned out, even two wins wouldn’t have been enough to make the playoffs, but I had felt comfortable in my own skin, back as manager. In fact, I loved every minute of it. I realised that I wanted to be there again. 

I spoke to the chairman and Leon Hunter, the director of football, and was quite relaxed about it as the club went through the process of interviewing candidates. They kept me informed of what was going on, and I went away on holiday. We had a couple more meetings when I returned, then the chairman decided that appointing me was the way he wanted to go.

The aim has been to build on the momentum we created. We came into League One in 2023 and caused a lot of problems, with momentum of winning games from a promotion season. We are also developing all the time in terms of how we play, as well as developing individuals. That includes youngsters who are now playing regularly at this level for the first time.

Longer-term, we want to build a team that is competing at the top end of the table. To do that, a demand is that we all give our best, week after week, playing in a way that fits with the DNA of Stevenage – as a football club and as a town.