Leading the way

When you are a young manager, it usually means one of two things.

Either you were not good enough to become a player, or you got injured. Let’s just say, I decided to get injured!

To be honest, it was clear by the age of 18 that it was going to be very difficult for me to become a player at the top level. I was playing at a semi-professional level, so I made a decision: maybe not to get rich in football, but to get old in football.

I started to study sports science, and in 2003 did my first coaching licence, the UEFA C. Which means that, for half of my life now, I have been thinking about how to behave as a coach. Although, in those early days, I wasn’t thinking about one day becoming a head coach.

In 2010, I became an assistant in the Borussia Dortmund academy and part of the scouting team for the first team. After this, I went to Turkey to be an assistant at Besiktas with Slaven Bilic, who I also worked with at West Ham.

Then, in 2017, for the first time I had the feeling that coaching had become a job, not simply a passion. In November that year, we received a phone call informing us that our time at West Ham was over. That was probably the toughest moment for me as a young coach.

"I sat down and asked one of the most important questions that you have to ask yourself in life"

All of a sudden, you felt you were becoming a checklist. You need to clear the office, give the devices back, the car back – things like that – and you realise, this is really a job, not a passion. It was a very tough day to go home and tell my family that our time in London was over – that we were leaving the club, the city and the country.

But by the end of the day, I had received a phone call from a German club. The same day I had lost my job, they wanted to interview me to become their new head coach. On the toughest day of my career, I also received the biggest opportunity so far: to think about becoming a head coach.

One day later, the meeting happened in London. They told me that they would like to have a new, young manager who will give the club the success that they deserve and need. Then they said they wanted me to get them promotion, because it was a club in the 2. Bundesliga.

But everything that I asked in the interview was: “Why me? Why do you think I am the right one?” I went home and my wife asked me: “How was it?” I told her it was a bit strange, because everything I said in the interview was: “Why me?”

The next morning I sat down and asked one of the most important questions that you have to ask yourself in life: “Who am I?” That day, I started to prepare a handbook on who I am, as a football manager. My intention was simple: I wanted to change the question I had asked in that interview from “Why me?” into “Why not me?”

In that time, I turned down every offer to work as a head coach, or to continue working as an assistant. It took me about six months – during which time I finished my Pro Licence – to write down who I would like to be as a manager.

"you need to look straight in the mirror and take responsibility"

It took into account every experience that I’d had to that point, in different countries, with different roles and at different levels. I tried to create a one-page picture on every subject, including coaching philosophy and playing style. I considered all sorts of things, from how I would communicate with staff and what roles they would have, to the principles I would have on set-pieces, and what questions I would ask my players when we first met.

This process took me a while, and it’s still not finished – it is something that I update every day. But after six months of writing everything down and finishing my Pro Licence, I was able to say: “Why not me? It’s going to be a difficult job, but I feel ready for that.”

I had also talked to the managers I had worked for, including Slaven, who gave me the final push that I was ready. Now, not only did I feel prepared, but others – people who have worked in the business for many years – felt I was prepared to say yes when the opportunity came.

Of course, there are challenges as a manager, as a leader, at every club. One of the biggest challenges is that you have to make decisions before you know the result. Everybody else gets to judge your decisions after they know the result.

Hopefully your team is successful enough to play three games a week, but as a manager you are playing many matches every day. One of these matches is player versus coach. As a coach, I’m always responsible for what we are doing and who’s doing it. The players have a responsibility too, for how we do things – how often, how long and how successfully.

Then there is the challenge of what I call ‘windows versus mirrors’, because if things don’t go well, windows can become more prominent than mirrors. All of a sudden, people start to point fingers instead of raising their hand and taking responsibility. But it is important not to look at what’s happening left and right, and start blaming others. Instead, you need to look straight in the mirror and take responsibility.

"if you want to leave your comfort zone, you will inevitably face conflict"

Another challenge as a manager is building a team, versus picking a team. It is my responsibility to build a team that will work in the same direction. But I’m also picking a team every three days.

You have to be as honest with players as possible, but I always say honesty is a matter of perspective. If you tell a player four times in a row that he’s not playing, they don’t think that the manager is being honest; they think that the manager doesn’t like them, or doesn’t think they are good enough. That is natural.

So you must give every player the feeling that you are there to support them, that you respect their career and want them to get the best out of it. You must explain what they need to improve, so that they can get the opportunity to play.

As a manager, you must also face conflict. I believe in conflict, because if you want to reach your maximum, you need to leave your comfort zone. And if you want to leave your comfort zone, you will inevitably face conflict.

One of my favourite observations on leadership came from Steve Jobs, who said: “If you want to make everyone happy, don’t be a leader – sell ice cream.” Being a leader doesn’t mean that everybody likes you. This is a process that you need to be ready to go through.

In management, if you don’t have any conflict, it means you are too soft. There is a thin line between having conflict and losing the dressing room, but to get the best out of the team, you need to manage and deal with conflict. You just need to make sure that it doesn’t last too long.

"Motivation comes and goes, but discipline stays"

In my experience, there are four types of players in every dressing room. The first is the survivor – they are just happy when the session is finished and the day is over. The second character is what I call the entertainer – they are happy with their salary, happy with the followers they have, and only need this kind of external motivation to be happy.

The third one is the winner. The winner likes to improve on a daily basis – they want to win every session, every game, and be better every day.

The fourth one is the leader. The leader is the same type as the winner, but the leader has the skill to influence others, turning survivors and entertainers into winners.

As a manager, it is all about creating a core of energy with the group. For this, you need people around who will support you in this process. That means if you have a disappointed player, you are not in a 1v1 situation. It also means you always create energy within the dressing room – that everybody is on the same page and road to success.

You must also consider motivation versus discipline, because as a manager you are responsible for the motivation of the team. Motivation comes and goes, but discipline stays.

Everyone wants to have a great picture at the end of the season, lifting a trophy. But who is ready to travel the whole pathway to this picture? For that, you need good discipline, rather than daily motivation.

"You don’t always have to accept my decisions, but you must respect them"

You need many skills to lead a big football club. First, you need a deep knowledge of the game; how to win games and be successful. Second, you need a good strategy on how to reach your targets. Third, you need fluid intelligence, so that you are able to solve problems under pressure.

For that, you need good emotional control. That doesn’t mean that you control only your own emotions – you need the skills to influence the emotional state of people around you. You need to have good influencing skills and personal integrity, to stick to your values. For that, it’s very important to show resilience and know why you are successful – because that comes down to you, not the decisions of others.

You also need good role-authority. This is tricky, because in modern society it is not easy to be in positions of authority. If you look at the relationship between students and teachers in schools, for example – or if you see politicians and police officers – it is very difficult nowadays to be in authority.

But as a head coach, I decided that I needed good role-authority. I have different roles in my life: father, husband, brother, son, friend and coach. I need authority as a coach, which means everybody needs to respect my decisions.

You don’t always have to accept my decisions, but you must respect them. I don’t want my decisions to be accepted; I want people to improve, to try to prove me wrong. But respect all my decisions, because they are only made to get the best out of the team.

"I found out that sometimes it’s not enough to score one more goal"

Reflection is also an important skill for a manager. You need to reflect on things and be very honest with yourself. To know not only what is needed to improve, but who is needed around you, to support you to perform to the maximum. Who do you need by your side to get the best out of you? Who has skills that complement your own?

In my time as Borussia Dortmund head coach, I grew as a leader. Dealing with all these challenges at the highest level – at a club with the biggest fanbase in Germany – helped, and was needed for me to grow.

If you work for a big club like Dortmund – in terms of expectations, one of the top 10 teams in Europe – it is always a challenge to fight the doubts. But you must create belief and a dream that everybody believes in.

There are many lessons I have learned. To give one example, though, in my first press conference I was asked: “What kind of philosophy are you looking for?” My answer was: “There are two ways to win games. The first is to score one more goal than the opposition, and the second is to concede one less. I prefer to score one more goal than the opposition.”

But I found out that sometimes it’s not enough to score one more goal. It’s not only about winning; it’s also about winning in style. Now I’m thinking about winning with two goals more than the opposition.

Like every coach, I want my team to be dominant, active and play attractive football – to entertain and be successful. But I would summarise what I want from my team like this: when we attack we should play with each other, and when we defend we should play for each other. To show our talent when attacking, and our mentality when defending.

"as a head coach I have been able to fight for trophies every season"

The game itself is improving all the time, especially the physical side – football is getting quicker. If you see the schedule, with the new rhythm of playing every three days, that is going to increase the demands on players, so you’re going to need a bigger squad. And that means managing a bigger number of disappointed players every three days.

In recent years, defenders have got quicker. Not only are the strikers quick, but also the defenders, which means you’ve got back lines playing higher. And it’s a trend to face more 1v1 situations, because many teams are now pressing 1v1 all over the pitch. This is where you need to find solutions with your team – how to create opportunities against man-marking systems, compared to zonal marking.

I am ready to go for the next chapter in my career. I have been reflecting and preparing myself, considering what went well in the past and which things I don’t want to repeat. Not knowing where and when the next chapter is going to start, but to be ready.

I am a young manager, but in three seasons as a head coach I have been able to fight for trophies every season. Fortunately I won one in my first season, with the German Cup. The season after that we just missed out on the Bundesliga title on goal difference, and in the third season we reached the Champions League final.

A few years ago, I would have thought I was miles away from lifting a trophy, but in recent years I found out they are only one or two steps away. That is something that drives me and keeps me very hungry.